Let Me Talk to a Real Person!

Let Me Talk to a Real Person!

In an age of unemployment, you’d think we could at least give jobs to humans rather than robots.

Listen up, companies, government officials, and anyone else doing any type of hiring: you could fix the economy all on your own. You really could! All you’d have to do is stop using robots and automated voice systems to process your customer service calls and instead simply use humans.

Humans! Could you imagine? They are these fleshy, meat-based beings that speak and fully resemble the customers already calling you. Rather than being told to press 1, 6, 4, 8, and 9 until you get to a live person (or never getting to a live person in the first place), you could actually get to a person right away. You might even have a satisfied customer or two on your hands who, instead of complaining or asking to speak to a manager—gasp!—ends up leaving the experience smiling and happily providing you with even more money by purchasing more services from your excellent, PEOPLE-based company.

Attempting to pay several bills yesterday was much more difficult than it should have been. Places asked for me to enter my customer number only to have me enter it again and again. One even had three separate account numbers available for me; how convenient. I’m still waiting to hear from them about this oversight.

Look, if you want my money, you’re going to have to make giving it to you much easier. Then my car company dared to imply that I was wrong—you never do that to a person!—by making a payment through my bank. “Why didn’t you just pay us directly?” she asked when I finally got to a real person to report my payment. “Let’s see. Because you take it out before I say you can, you take out more than I allow, and you take out a $15 fee while you are at it,” I retorted. “Which might all be better for you, but it’s certainly not for me.” In fact, this is one of the companies that inspired me to stop doing that in the first place after I had to change banks. With so many companies dipping into the pot, it became so over drafted that we could no longer use it. Shouldn’t I be able to sue someone about that, anway?

This is all stressful enough without the robotic component. So how about giving us a break and letting us talk to humans before we even get this upset? We might even start playing the game on your terms.